survey links!

Español: https://www.surveymonkey.com/EncuestaPanama

English: https://www.surveymonkey.com/PanamaSurvey

surveys are open to everyone. PLEASE feel free to forward them on. The survey asks background information, personal opinions about certain events in Panamanian history, racial and ethnic identificaion, and life today in Panama. *distribute widely*

thanks.

new laptop options

Ok I am deciding between a macbook (pro, perhaps) and these two pc options. Although I know everyone loves their macs, price is leading me toward another pc...

The HP Pro Book 5310m

and the Asus ul30A-A1, A2 (or the ul 80vt model or UL30A-x5 model)

the current front runner is the ASUS 30A-A2. It is prettier (I like silver laptops if yellow is not an option lol), has a longer battery life and a 2 year global warranty!! Also, it has 4GB RAM to Mac's 2GB.

AANNNDD if I buy one of these ASUS models I get a $75-100 giftcard from Amazon.

any thoughts?

good research news

The life history interviews that Voices of Our America is providing for me will be ready December 1st! I am very lucky to have made contact with the professor who runs the project. She has been immensely generous in assisting me and allowing me access to their research. I sent her an abstract of my project, they identified interviews that might help me, spoke with their AV team and will have them ready for me in a few weeks.
Why this is good:  Listening to life histories of my research population is basically my receiving raw data. I get to hear not only the structure of how people organize their lives (from what I understand the interviews were unscripted), but also what stories, details and events they feel are important to understanding their particular (and hopefully group) struggles and successes.

I had to change one measly sentence on my IRB application (arrrgghhhh), so any second now I can roll out my own research methods...  IRB APPROVAL FINALLY which is great news because

Not only do I have people ready to take my survey, a friend of mine is trying to get me an interview with a former police officer (he was a police officer during the invasion) who has VERY strong feelings about the invasion and the ongoing presence of Americans.

Also exciting in my world,

I have been talking to a Panamanian anthropologist here whose had written about adding racial and ethnic identification on Panama's 2010 census. Right now, those questions only apply for indigenous groups. I will talk more about this as it develops, but I had not thought about how to use the upcoming census in my project at all until I read her article. She references the US census, so it will be very interesting to compare processes, forms, and levels of participation between the two countries, and, of course, how/where/when/under what circumstances  racial and ethic identification come into play.

Those are the big things. In smaller news, I finished Luna Verde and enjoyed it. I can understand why it was so controversial in its time. In essence, the novel is about the protaganist's (and his family's) academic and moral decay while under US jurisdiction in the Canal Zone and his re-education to fight for his country.  I thought about giving you some great passages, but most of you don't read Spanish.  Here is one memorable theme: "Los estupidos quieren ser gringos, los inteligentes prefieren aprender ingles" [The dumb want to be gringos while the smart ones prefer to learn English]

Next book: Gamboa Road Gang. It is also about the Zone and the racial/nation-based discrimination that characterized it.

Why I am moving out!

wow. a lot of people asked why I am leaving. wanna hear it? here it goes...

Ok the primary and most important reason for my leaving the apartment is that the utility costs are much higher than the estimate, and I no longer feel this apartment is worth what I pay.

It was maybe worth the base rent of $500, but with the utilities I feel like I am being cheated. Well, not cheated. That isn’t fair. A deal is a deal. Now that I know all of the details, the apartment is simply not worth the money and I am not sure I would continue to have a positive relationship with my landlady.

I have a twin sized bed. True, there is another twin bed right next to it, but they are different heights and no matter what people try to say, two twin beds pushed together do NOT equal a queen or king or anything comfortable.

I do not have a tv in my room, as promised so the only place for me to watch tv is from the folding chair or the wooden porch swing. Also, my landlady does not speak any Spanish, so as a shared tv in the computer room, when she is there it has to be English only.

Upon my return from Playa Blanca, I felt that her way of dealing with our business was passive aggressive and that is not just something I care for. I understand wanting things written, but I do not like when people talk to me one day about superficial nonsense, then the next day leave haughty notes laced with attitude (when I am in the apt). I did ask her about it, in case I misunderstood her tone, but her flippant oh-I-was-in-a-rush-girl-I didn’t-know-if-you-were-awake so I left a note told me I did not misread. No one in a rush writes a one-page letter. She is nice and has introduced me to great people. I would rather leave on good terms. I can see myself growing to resent her and despite my rant that follows, I know that she means well and is a good person.

I initially wanted to live in El Cangrejo, so that is where I am looking. Marbella has fun things, but to be honest, it is too hot to walk la cinta costera and the mall and move theater are lost on me. When I move, they are a short $1.50 cab ride away.

I have already looked at 2 apartments less than $550 (includes everything) where guests are welcome without hassle and include king sized beds, living rooms decorated more to my taste (read: comfy sofas), my own tv, private bathroom, and Spanish speakers.

** rant to follow**
Other important reasons for leaving include:

I still do not have a tv in my room, although she was "handling it", just as there is allegedly supposed to be a set of knives. She doesn't cook and she has a tv in her room, so these things are not important to her. I have been here a month and a half now and my arrival was not a surprise. I am paying to live here, so I would think my needs count too. Since I know neither make nor models, these are not things I can request myself.

My landlady forgets things she says are ok. For example, she said I could use the cd alarm clock. Great! I had it in my room until one day I came home and she was listening to it in the kitchen. She said she wanted to listen to music while she cooked, but I could have it back. Umm ok. Why tell me I can use it if you are going to take it every time you want to use it? Thanks, but no thanks. The more serious example is saying it was fine for me to pay rent when I returned from Playa Blanca, then leaving a note saying my rent is 10 days late (10 bolded and underlined.) ummm… negative. That is just not ok with me.

I feel like when there is a problem in the apartment I have to solve it myself, even if my landlady is here. When we were locked out of the apartment, she went to her friends' place to get the spare key for the maid’s entrance. We were both annoyed that the management company fixed the lock with a malfunctioning and did not even leave keys! She had a meeting with them the next morning and said this would be handled before she left for the US the next day... Well, it wasn’t. When she left she had returned the maid’s entrance key to her friend and had no word from the management company when they would fix the lock. (???? Whhaaat??)This seriously irritated me. What if I was locked out?! no le importa. I called and texted my landlady more than once to get her to leave me the # of her friend in case I got locked out and needed the key, then called the management company myself. Anyway, when I spoke to them they said the lock guy would come. I had to leave, so I demanded his cell phone number, spoke to him about the problems with the lock, and asked him to leave keys at the front desk. He left one key so I am good. Same thing with the stove. I had to call the management company to get someone here to fix it.

So yeah. I am not impressed with anything about this place except the view. Pictures can be deceiving *wink*. I will try to get a sunrise picture and sunset picture before I leave. I will try again to do a short series of video tours rather than one long one. And maybe I will go see another movie lol.

laptop question- advice needed

so many of you know my beautiful yellow Dell named Soli was stolen in Cuba. Au Abroad gave me one of their old laptops but unfortunately this computer will not be here for the long haul. The screen is jumping and there is a weird line at the bottom of the screen that shows a mirage of the taskbar (the task bar is set to be at the top of the screen, by the way)

I have an external harddrive so I am not concerned about losing my work. I am concerned, however, with this computer dying on me and leaving me once again without a laptop!

So:

any recommendations for a good laptop? should I get a mac?

i know macs to be good systems, but really my hang ups are price and learning a new system in the middle of my research. I could easily get a new dell for half the price of a mac.
decision, decisions.

feel free to give me your opinions. (I changed the settings so anyone can comment on my blog. You do not have to open an account)

excerpts from Portobelo

pieces and stories from my notes Enjoy at your leisure!
link to fotos: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2177080&id=1309093&l=b53330bcdb


I couldn’t sleep, got up around 6am. I was at the bus station by 8:00, got on a bus to Colón ($2.50).

Before the bus leaves people come on selling food, small face towels, cds, toiletries. Diablos rojos are school busses transformed into public transportation. The express bus to colon is nicer, with real bus-like seats.

They collect the fare before you arrive in Colon but it did not matter because I was KNOCKED OUT. I must have sense the man close to me because I woke up, paid my fare, then went back to sleep. The next thing I knew, the guy was shouting that the next stop would be Zona Libre, so I grabbed my bag and hopped off the bus like a mad woman.

There was no real need for us to arrive so early, but as neither of us had ever been we did not know. Hindsight is 20/20. We both heard that tens of thousands of people were in Portobelo and we wanted to be able to see the Christ himself. Also, we did not know each other to know how the day would go.

I arrived in Maria Chiquita, a police checkpoint for busses and cars to meet Vida. I did not know she had planned to just get on the bus, so I got off. We waited a bit and boarded the next bus to Portobelo.

Busses could only go so far--- there was a stronger police checkpoint where everyone had to get off the bus. Women in one line (the longest line of course), men in another line, and “personas de mayor edad” in another line. Vida, as a retired woman, got to go into the 3rd line. They barely look in their bags and did not touch them. In my line, however, the emptied the contents of my bag, put everything back in so that it no longer fit, patted me down, then patted me down againand I was on my way.

In the morning there were not too many people there. Well, there were a lot people but we didn’t notice as much because people were spread out. But que calor! It was sooooo hot. I probably spent most of my money buying water.

On the road to Portobelo, we saw many people dressed in the purple robes of El Nazareno and others crawling their way to the church. I knew that this happened, but it was muy muy impresionante to see it in person. Imagine people crawling in heavy robes in extreme heat or crawling in extreme heat with people continuously pouring hot wax on you for what seemed like a mile, easy. Usually there is a person facing them with a model of el Nazareno, swaying it back and forth (báilaselo! Báilaselo! Grita la gente) to imitate the movement of the ocean that carried En Nazareno to Portobelo. This action almost taunts the crawling person to keep going forward like the metaphorical carrot. Some are so bold as to inch along three movements forward, two back--- the same rhythm as En Nazareno’s parade through the streets. Why do people do this? La vida católica is all about sacrifice and atonement, no? People perform this act and promise El Nazareno they will follow His example if he grants them whatever wish/miracle they are asking. The man we spoke to with the wax burns all over (this was very common) said that his son has asthma and gracias a Dios it is very bad but he wanted to keep it that way. He was also asking for his mother, that she remain in good health. We saw many men with purple marks all over their chests and backs. I imagine the marks are a result of their act of penance. I am not alleging that it does not happen, but I did not witness any women receiving hot wax on their crawl to el Nazareno.

We walked around a little before going to the church itself. Although it had not yet reached noon, piles of purple robes adorned the entrance way and the pews were full of people. I had been to Portobelo before and saw El Nazareno behind the glass shelter. Now, He was out in the middle of the church, surrounded by flowers and candles thus far unlit, with people praying on all sides, some standing, some kneeling. To the left of the altar, an image el Nazareno’s face looked out to the church so people could also kneel and pray there. Everywhere you saw purple--- purple shirts, robes, belts, hats, pants, flowers. While some people abandoned their robes upon entering the church, others elected to keep them on.

I wanted to buy a nice set of purple rosary beads- seemingly easy right? But all of the purple beads were very cheap looking.

Since we were there all day, we saw all kinds of people. People of all ages wore robes, or at something purple. American peace Corp workers wore their “cuerpo de paz Panama” t shirts. The majority of people were Panamanian. I saw/heard some white Americans. Vida enjoyed talking to the Reuters photographers.



(and by enjoyed talking I mean she was flirting quite heavily with one of them.
So much so that I did not know if I should walk away! He was talking about his
daughter (19 I believe) and how he does not travel as much for work anymore
because he does not want to leave her. Vida asks, “and your wife?”. He is
divorced. “And what happened?” It was hard for her to be married to someone who
traveled all the time, and she had at least one affair. “While the cat is away,
the mice will play! I am also divorced. Do you think you will remarry?” He can’t
imagine putting another woman through that. His wife did not want to do all of
that traveling and once his daughter is older, he will be able to leave again
more easily. “oh, well I love to travel! I wouldn’t mind at all! You could take
me with you” *I think I was the only one blushing* We “ran into” them repeatedly
throughout the day. )
To escape the heat we went to la forteleza san Lorenzo, not far from the church. I brought a sheet with me to serve as a lawn blanket, the best idea I had all day! (I forgot my bottle of frozen water. Sad) I got to know Vida well. If you know me, I am not a huge talker. I will make conversation, but it would not be the story of my life. With Vida, asking a question was to receive a 30 minute response that may or may not address the question at all. I did not mind since we had a whole day to kill and I am in Panama to research after all, but if you know me, I find incessant talking can be a nuisance. It was ok though.

Unfortunately for us, la forteleza San Lorenzo was doubling as the public bathroom. All day we saw men and boys with their backs scarcely turned before a stream of liquid shot out. In the fort, however, the numbers rose exponentially and the scent became unbearable.

On my rosary mission, I wanted to return to the church. Despite my best efforts, I could not get Vida to understand how my camera worked and thus all of the pictures of me are blurry. (very sad because I was/am going to part of a story in American U’s Alumni magazine, but they need a picture… and one that is not blurry) Sidetracked because Vida really wanted something sweet to eat. Ended up purchasing multi colored beads. Received the blessing from the priest, who was now present in his full purple robes.

Went to get food, and returned once again for the church. This is when we realized how many people were really in Portobelo. The church was almost full but we were able to find space.
People walk from all over—from Panama City even, which is a goodfew days walk away.

The sermon of the mass was predicable but no less effective. Look at el Nazareno, carrying his cross for eternity. That when we have trouble we should not ask God to ease our load or take away the weight, but instead should ask for the strength to bear it and to preserve, knowing that He would never give us more than we can carry. The priest had a compelling and potent delivery. I was trying to listen and translate for Vida, but eventually I gave up and just enjoyed the mass.

People continued to crawl into the church well after the mass started, well into the night. One woman beside me who became my companera commented that the people who crawl in at this hour are not real devotees but instead attention seekers. Since the date does not change for el Nazareno, they time it just right. No matter how or what time the crawlers came into the church, and despite any misgivings people may have about their level of fidelity, the crowd always parted and the path to el Nazareno cleared. Each and every time.

The mass in and of itself was very striking. People continued crawling into the church and every time the crowed parted so the person could get through. From my view, a group of 4 or 5 men took off their shirts, sat in the church swaying back and forth saying prayers for family members whose framed pictures they laid before them. They were taking up too much valuable space according to some, and a fight broke out. Yes. Nos dió mucho vergüenza. A fight. In the church. People in close proximity were able to break it up and the priest continued to give his message of spiritual strength and resolve to the zealous crowd, as more and more people squeezed their way inside. We gave each other the sign of peace; we said the Our Father; we listened to the priest tell us we are stronger than we know. People who carried their model versions of el Nazareno and large wooden crosses began lining up in front of el Nazareno (i.e. pushing their way through too many people) after we said the Our Father. As mass was ending, others joined them on the floor at least 10 rows of people, as wide as the crowd would allow it to grow.

Suddenly, a drum gave a single beat and the church went wild.

Another single drum beat. strong and quick.

And another.

Shouts and cheers arose from those who knew what was coming. The music started slowly, the drum beat as the feature. Slow beats with trumpets as a secondary sound. Synchronized with the drum beat, the people sitting and kneeling on the ground began to sway; the people holding the Nazerenitos began to sway. The excited crowd cheered as the white candles surrounding el Nazareno blazed.

As the music began to start in earnest, Vida and I decided to go outside of the church so we could actually see el Nazareno coming out of San Felipe. THIS is when we realized just how many people were there. We could hardly get out of the church, much less create spaces for ourselves outside. But we did. My compañera went outside as well.

People were gathered as far as my eye could see, waiting to see, and for those close enough to join, the procession. The music blared as crowd outside anxiously and silently awaited, candles lit. The kneelers and crawlers attempted to make their way out of the church. This required others to move out of the church, which took quite a bit of time and convincing. No one outside wanted to give way for the crawlers and the kneelers. As they emerged from the church, the path of the procession mandated that they turn right. Many did not turn and had it not been for the militares, I am sure another fight would have broken out. As people flooded out of the church we were pushed back and back and back. Being tall does have its advantages.

Finally, El Nazareno made his way out of the church.

As soon as he broke the threshold, the militares linked arms, thrust their guns horizontally in front of themselves and made a human/gun shield between the crowd and the emerging statue. Vida and I were separated in the suddenness of this action, but I snapped my pictures, and then moved away from the crowd to call her and meet up so we could leave.

At this point it was after 9pm. We found each other, bought some sodas (where I learned that people do not say refresco for soda. I asked if he had any refrescos and he told me cerveza, cuba libre [which they sell in cans like coke. T hee hee]. He asked what I wanted , I said I really wanted water or coke, at which point he told me he had coke. I asked why he didn’t say that when I asked for a refresco. ‘refresco es algo refrescante. Yo no sé que le gusta usted para refrescarse.’) and walked in a large mass of people to where the busses were allegedly parked.

We had a looooong and dark walk back to try to catch a bus BUT found that there were busses running directly back to Panama City. Vida was headed back toward Colon, so we hugged, parted ways, and got on our respective busses.

It took forrrrreeeeever to travel down the one road that leads to the highway (people walking+busses leaving+cars still coming), so I went to sleep to the reggaeton blasting on the bus (que tengo que hacer pa que vuelvas conmigooo....zzzzzzzz). I woke up to pay my $3 fare, then paid $3 for a cab from san Miguel, where the bus stopped, back home to Paitilla.

I climbed into my bed around 1am, happy I had traveled to Portobelo to see the festival of the black Christ.

I am moving

This apartment is not worth the price or the hassle. December 1st I will (hopefully) be somewhere else!

the full story to follow.
[yup. left you with the cliffhanger!]

research update for those interested

So it has been almost a month since I arrived. Although I have been making ok progress, I need to push myself much more than I have been thus far.

In my mind, I am being held up by this IRB stuff. I do not want to reach out to too many people for interviews or to take my survey, then have to wait another month before I can actually do it/send it, you know? November and December are busy months with holidays here: Nov 2-5, 10, 18, December 8, graduations are in December, then Christmas, and new year. I wanted to have a few interviews under my belt before December hit and I am not sure that is going to happen : (

In the meantime I should be reading my ass off. That is not happening. I will fix that ASAP.
My Spanish class is also rich cultural context for this project. I will synthesize and post about that another time but as a teaser, one day my teacher said "West Indians were in a favorable position when they came to Panama because they spoke English. Discrimination is social, not racial. It was the Panamanians who suffered, not them."... the same woman who gave me the article about the unauthorized sterlization of West Indian men in the 1940's. si, bien interesante.

BUT I did get in contact with an organization called Voice of Our America. Their work sounds amazing and I will be able to access some of the life histories they have already done on my research population. Score! The good thing about this is: I will be able to listen to various interviews before performing my own (on different people, overlapping theme). This will allow me to change/add/reformat questions as needed before I actually do my interviews. It also gives me a large body of first person narratives to put my own event-based research into context. Super excited about this. (also, we were talking collaborations for presentations and such. yay!). I also have ties with SAMAAP and El Comité Panameño contra el Racismo.

My first research method is a survey. I have a survey hosted at surveymonkey.com in both Spanish and English, ready to go as soon as I get approval. I also have a list of people willing to take it. ** SHAMELESS PLUG: if you are Panamanian, are living/have lived in Panama or know anyone who has, please let me know if you are interested in taking the survey. many thanks ** The survey collection will be ongoing, but the data collected will give an intial read of my interview interests.

I have met with a few key organizations/people from key organizations, setting up meetings with a few professors, and in general have met people who I would like to interview later. I have a chart with the groups I need to interview. My column of Americans is full so I can start with them while my survey is being disseminated... once I get my approval.

I am just hoping I execute this project successfully. It has the potential to be very interesting (to me at least)

abstract of sorts pasted below si les interesa...

Past 45 years, urban panama has seen tremendous change. The cities of Panama City and Colón, as well as the Canal Zone, have experienced the flag riots in 1964; the signing of the Canal Treaties in 1977; a U.S. military invasion in 1989; and the U.S. withdrawal and turnover of the Canal and Canal Zone in 1999. These national and international events have contributed to a burgeoning post-colonial Panamanian identity. However, there have also been simultaneous persistent legal and social currents of racism and disparity.

The Panamanian government revoked and reinstated West Indian citizenship during the 1900s, directly affecting access to economic and social resources and creating mistrust between the West Indian community and the state. While the 1999 turnover celebrated Panamanian sovereignty, despite economic growth Panama as the fourth worst income distribution in the world. Further, the turnover disbanded the national “we” identity constructed around reclaiming the Canal and Canal Zone, and thus redefined the previous factions and divides which often left Black voices marginalized.

This study will explore, through participant observation, surveys and series of interviews, the struggles of Panamanian men and women of West Indian heritage from the 1960s to today. It seeks to understand how and where they create social networks and forge their identities in post-colonial urban Panamá. This project aims to understand how urban minority identities secure and protect their rights amid global trends of immigration, land reform and development from governments that marginalize them.