A few days ago, 2 to be exact, I had a bad day. Nothing happened, which are, for me, the worst type of bad days to have. I was just all over the place emotionally. My time here is running out (cue: panic!!! And sadness). I think I was bummed because this would have been the week I traveled to the US to celebrate my grandmother’s 90th. My interviewee was nowhere to be found (we were meeting at his workplace so these things happen). It was pouring rain and I was waiting for him in the music building, so I was unable to find a quiet place to work since all of the students were inside practicing their instruments and such. The AC in the building was broken. I was unable to concentrate on anything so rather than fight myself, I went to the movies, saw Sex and the City 2 (eh. We can chat about this if anyone is interested), wandered aimlessly in the mall before going home. I got off the bus early, and walked a bit to clear my head. I cooked. I organized. And I went to sleep feeling a bit defeated. (and irrational)
Yesterday, I connected with people I had been trying to reach, sent out one last call for participants (I am lacking a few people who grew up in the Zone), went to Colon (saw the Blind Side on the bus), had a great interview/conversation, saw a few people I knew (read: people in Colon now recognize me. Yay!) walked to my next event, met the mayor of Colon (female!), learned about a new program helping Colon youth to secure employment, got a ride back to the terminal and returned very late to Panama. Oh. I wore a new dress and my hair looked great. If only the Celtics had won lol
Here I am, refreshed and happy again, getting ready for bed. Hmm... my hair doesn't look as fabulous as it did earlier that day, but this is after a trip to and from Colon and a day in the sun.
In short: I have to do the best I can with what I have. I try to push push push all the time but I also need to give time for my stressed out mind to rest a bit. I will not be 100% productive every single day. Bad days happen, sometimes without reason. I have learned to not fight them if it will be a losing battle, redirect my energy and start fresh the next day.
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