chasing Ariana

People have asked how my “transition” is going.

The novelty of being back has worn off and I am really missing my Panamanian life, where I spent the majority of my time working on my research.  My time was mine to spend as I chose.

Here in the US I have a part time job that I like, but that doesn’t pay that well, which forced me to take on a few tutoring gigs, which takes more time away from my dissertating.  People here expect a lot of my time, usually without considering that the time I am not “at work” I am still working.  Of course I appreciate that friends missed me and want to spend time!! I am not trying to sound like a total misanthrope. I just need to do a better job with managing my time. I tried to avoid it, but I got caught in the shopping/getting drinks/eating out trap as ‘catch up’ time when I came back. That took away time and money that I cannot get back. And it is my own fault.

So I am working on a paper that will not make or break me, but it is stressing me out because I am essentially starting in the middle of my dissertation, meaning I need to type out all of these notes and such that I need to draw on. I am still in the notes phase and I need to deliver this paper in a month.

Cue: panic.

So yeah. I have furniture in my apartment now so that helps! Immensely! Try being stressed out and eating standing up at the sink counter, spreading books out on the hard floor because no bookcases, and having nowhere to work but your bed. As comfortable as my bed is, I would have to pack everything up every night so I could sleep.

Life is better with a sofa and dining set!

I work best early mornings and late at night, which is impossible with my job schedule. (well, I could go to work as a zombie but that doesn't seem like a good idea for job security)

in short, I am still trying to find my routine and not just keep up with myself, but actually feel like I am directing my life. Not just running after it. 

asi es la vida sin papaya