PANAMA. missing you.

a piece of an interview - possibility of black children

I haven't posted any interesting pieces of interview lately. I have just been complaining lol. so here ya go!! I find it interesting that this woman specifically brought up Blackness to her niece in case she marries and has kids that come out Black or brown at the least. What is most interesting to me is the underlying assumption that her husband will NOT be Black. She warns that she has to put in her husband's head that the kids might turn out Black... which would be a moot issue if the man himself was any shade of brown, right? By declaring her niece white, with latent genetic blackness, and explaining the possible colors of her future children, this particular interviewee assumes that her white niece with black in her veins will marry a non-Black man. Why? It also assumes that this man would not meet her Black family!


"I have a niece that if you see her you won't believe it (that she is my niece) and here I have no photo. I call her the "chola" of the family. (giggling). She is white. White and has straight hair. She is older now. Before she grew up, I always told her, in your veins runs black blood. And she would say, Auntie what do you mean by that? The day you decide to marry and have children you have to put husband's head that you can have black children. Not that you were unfaithful."


ORIGINAL:
Yo tengo una sobrina que si usted la ve no lo cree y aquí yo no tengo foto.  Yo le digo la chola de la familia (giggling). Si, es blanca.  Blanca y tiene el pelo lacio que ahora que ella está grande.  Antes que ella creciera, siempre le digo en tus venas corren sangre negra.  Tía qué quiere decir? Que el día que tú decidas casarte y tener hijos tienes que meterle a tu esposo en la cabeza de que tú puedes tener hijos negros.  No es que le fuiste infiel. 

No Big Easy for this girl

I was so excited when I took the  lead and organized a panel session for my national meetings.  Way back in March when I submitted our panel, I could not foresee where I would be in November. We were accepted (yaaay!!!!) when I was leaving the field so even though things were already a little more difficult on all life fronts, still, I didn't know what the next few months held. I knew where I hoped I would be. and that is just not the case.

So after a lot of mixed emotions, feeling guilty, and advice seeking, I have made the final decision that traveling to New Orleans this weekend is not in my personal, academic nor financial interest.  It is disappointing, but I know it is the right decision. Too bad I didn't know that BEFORE I bought my plane ticket but for all other grad students out there let me tell you:

Starting your dissertation in the middle is not the way to go [remember when my computer was stolen, all of my writing in the past year went with it. Lit review? needs to be redone. draft methodology? needs to be redone. Intro to my project location? needs to be redone. and that reality kills me each and every time I retype something]. Keep "Finish grad school!!" as your #2 priority, right after family. Make decisions based on those two things. Nothing else. 


I am going to stop working on this conference paper, which would be somewhere around chapter 5 of my dissertation, and now start at the beginning. Here's hoping for faster results and graduation in one year's time.