I was so excited when I took the lead and organized a panel session for my national meetings. Way back in March when I submitted our panel, I could not foresee where I would be in November. We were accepted (yaaay!!!!) when I was leaving the field so even though things were already a little more difficult on all life fronts, still, I didn't know what the next few months held. I knew where I hoped I would be. and that is just not the case.
So after a lot of mixed emotions, feeling guilty, and advice seeking, I have made the final decision that traveling to New Orleans this weekend is not in my personal, academic nor financial interest. It is disappointing, but I know it is the right decision. Too bad I didn't know that BEFORE I bought my plane ticket but for all other grad students out there let me tell you:
Starting your dissertation in the middle is not the way to go [remember when my computer was stolen, all of my writing in the past year went with it. Lit review? needs to be redone. draft methodology? needs to be redone. Intro to my project location? needs to be redone. and that reality kills me each and every time I retype something]. Keep "Finish grad school!!" as your #2 priority, right after family. Make decisions based on those two things. Nothing else.
I am going to stop working on this conference paper, which would be somewhere around chapter 5 of my dissertation, and now start at the beginning. Here's hoping for faster results and graduation in one year's time.
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